Our favorite fake wings

Plus, an adaptable dairy-free dressing to satisfy Team Ranch or Team Blue Cheese

Hey team, and welcome to the Cool Beans Super Bowl pre-show! We’re just three days from kickoff, but I’ve been assessing the game-day snack sitch for weeks. Naturally, Buffalo wings are the first thing to come to mind—Americans will consume approximately 1.45 billion of ’em on Sunday.

This finger-lickin’ favorite scores big in the flavor department, but its sustainability stats aren’t the greatest. Chicken’s carbon footprint is more than three times that of tofu, the protein I’m reaching for today to fry up an all-star stand-in that’s just as crispy, juicy, and saucy as wings. Plus, like all good nibbles, it comes with a pair of killer dipping sauces. 

The review: Buffalo ‘wings’ that score big on flavor and crunch

Crispy perfection, with a side of plant-based ranch. Credit: Gabriella Vigoreaux

I only show up to Super Bowl parties for the food, and if there’s not a platter of hot wings then there’s a good chance I’m leaving. This year, in my desperation to make chicken-less “wings” without frying cauliflower (an internet mainstay that also happens to be my least favorite vegetable) I turned to an expert in faux-meat sorcery, Isa Chandra Moskowitz. The hot honey “chick’n” sandwich at her plant-based restaurant Modern Love is one of my all-time faves, so when I saw tofu wings in her 2023 cookbook, Fake Meat: Real Food for Vegan Appetites, l was pumped to find out if they were a touchdown.

Moskowitz’s recipe does a few things to nail the wing sensory experience. She doesn’t press the tofu, so it retains moisture when you bite into it. Her two-step coating process (first in a paste of cornstarch, soy milk, and tamari, then in a crumbly mix of rosemary, panko, and salt) creates a kind of skin that can peel off the same way it would on a real wing. And the addition of rosemary—a move she borrows from her famed “chick’n” sammie that’s outside the norm for Buffalo wings—brings an aroma we normally associate with cooking poultry, which helps with the overall illusion. 

Check out the full recipe for Isa’s tofu Buffalo wings at Post Punk Kitchen

Other than that, the process is fairly standard. Slice the tofu into rectangles; marinate it in lemon juice, olive oil, and a sprinkle of salt; coat; shallow-fry in a cast-iron skillet until golden and crispy; and dunk in a mix of melted vegan butter and hot sauce (Frank’s, of course). 

I will state the obvious: These look more like mozzarella sticks than chicken wings. They do, however, have all the juiciness, spiciness, and crunchiness that I’m looking for when I’m craving the snackin’ chicken. Some Buffalo sauces also add vinegar to the mix, but the Miyoko’s plant-based butter I used is made from fermented cashews, so it’s plenty tangy without the addition of vinegar. And, like the best wings, these are even good cold.

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Of course, a wing isn’t complete without a creamy, cooling condiment like ranch or blue cheese dressing. Both of these dips go hard on the dairy, but I’ve got a plant-based version that also happens to be a slam dunk in the sustainability department. I think that’s the wrong sports metaphor, but like I said I’m just here for the snacks...

The recipe: The do-it-all dressing for your Super Bowl snacking needs

The Chiefs and the 49ers aren’t the only teams battling it out on February 11. The rivalry between Team Ranch and Team Blue Cheese is alive and well. But if you’re cutting down on dairy, both are benched—ranch because buttermilk, and blue cheese because cheese. Rather than pick sides and give y’all a recipe for one, I decided to create a condiment base that can pull double duty with just a few ingredient swaps. This dressing gets all its creaminess from a secret ingredient that’s hiding in your pantry inside a can of chickpeas. 

Aquafaba, which literally translates to bean water, is the viscous liquid you see when you crack open a can of garbanzos. It contains a plant-based chemical called saponin that gives it the ability to whip up and create stable foams for meringues, marshmallows, and even whiskey sours. It also makes the silkiest mayo, an ingredient these two game-day dressings have in common. I blitzed up the magic bean liquid in a blender to make the creamy base for a dairy-free blue cheese or buttermilk ranch dressing.

Team Ranch, all the way. Credit: Gabriella Vigoreaux

Aquafaba Blue Cheese or Ranch Dressing

Yield: About ¾ cup