The sleeper ground-meat substitute

If you’re not already, it’s time to make TVP happen

Hey there, and welcome back to Cool Beans! In a market flush with faux-meat products, how does one even begin to choose? Just last weekend, I counted more than 20 meatless burgers in my local supermarket. This week, though, we’re keeping it simple with a plant-based player that’s been around since the 1960s: textured vegetable protein, or TVP. 

I’ll be the first to admit that the name is a pinch unappealing, but let me assure the TVP newbs that there’s nothing scary here. This OG veggie protein is made from soybean flour that’s been pressure-cooked and dehydrated. It can do pretty much everything the Beyonds and Impossibles of the world can, and is high in fiber and protein (13 grams per ¼ cup). Plus it’s shelf-stable and cheap: A 12-ounce bag costs less than five bucks and, once rehydrated, makes more than 2 pounds’ worth of “meat.”

Where TVP isn’t a heavy hitter is in the flavor department. What’s it taste like? Honestly, not a whole lot, but think of it like a sponge that swells up and absorbs whatever you add to it. That’s why TVP is best suited to saucier dishes like Bolognese or chili. Or, in the case of today’s newsletter, the centerpiece of two crowd-pleasing handhelds: tacos and sandwiches. 

The review: Your new taco night go-to

TVP taco night. Credit: Gabriella Vigoreaux

We’re here today to talk about TVP, but to talk about TVP is to talk about what you’re putting on it—and the achiote paste in cookbook author Esteban Castillo’s plant-based recipe for tacos al pastor pulled me in like a tractor beam. The Central American condiment is a flavor bomb of garlic, spices, and the ground seeds of the achiote tree, or annatto seeds. You can buy it pre-made from brands like Órale or Goya, but we have pounds of it in our freezer thanks to my wife’s family farm. In this recipe it’s just one of many complex additions that help turn those bland soy pellets into powerful flavor nuggets. 

Like most ground-meat-mimicking TVP recipes, this one starts with rehydrating granules in a richly seasoned marinade. Dried chiles and their soaking liquid get blended with pineapple juice, lime juice, garlic, onion, oregano, cinnamon, and achiote paste. The TVP hangs in this flavorful liquid for two hours, then gets cooked in a skillet until hot and crispy.

Check out the complete TVP tacos al pastor recipe at Chicano Eats

As promised, this recipe delivers in both flavor and texture. It’s sweet and smoky with a mild heat. The sugars in the pineapple juice help to brown and caramelize the “meat,” which results in some pretty tasty crispy bits. The mix of chewy and crispy reminded me of pork al pastor, but with one notable difference: The TVP holds on to sauces better than pork, so it’s nearly impossible for it to get too dried out. It also manages to be meaty—especially so because I took a note from the comments and added some liquid aminos for a dash of umami. 

Suffice it to say, the tacos were a huge success, and I barely made a dent in my bag of TVP. Luckily, if kept in an airtight container, these wee soy shards will last a whole year. Here’s a few more recipes you can bookmark to help get through your stash.

• Roll it into Swedish meatballs, Ikea style.

• Make a plant-based meatloaf.

• DIY some Italian sausage crumbles or faux bacon bits.

• Fry up a maple and fennel-spiced breakfast sausage.

• Add some bulk to your bean chili.

• Load up your nachos.

• Simmer a more sustainable spaghetti sauce. 

But I’d be remiss if I ignored the chopped-meat sandwich king of my school lunch days. No canned meats will be used in the making of this recipe, but you might still want to tuck a napkin into your shirt.

The recipe: This sandwich is inspired by Joe, but don’t you dare call her ‘sloppy’

Thank Tina Fey and the Mean Girls reboot for inspiring this week’s recipe. In one scene (that only I laughed at), the principal announces the cafeteria special on the school intercom, a vegetarian sloppy Joe called a “Confident Joanne.” I got home and scoured the internet for written documentation and can confidently say, “The recipe does not exist.” 

So! Here I present to you a Confident Joanne made with our veggie protein of the moment, TVP. Typically, the soy granules would need to be rehydrated before cooking, but this dish demands a good simmer in a pot of sauce, so we can skip that step—allowing this dish to come together in a perfectly tidy 30 minutes. 

On Wednesdays, we eat sandwiches. Credit: Gabriella Vigoreaux

Confident Joannes

Yield: 4 sandwiches